What server you were banned on: SCP-RP (UK)
Your in-game name: Johnathan Silk (if I remember correctly)
Your SteamID: STEAM_0:0:82361262
Ban Reason: Severe Toxicity [X] Stacked Bans [X] Stacked Class X NITRP LTAP
Date of ban: Jun 29 2024
Who banned you: Neptune
Ban length: About 400 days
What will you do to stop this from happening again: Some backstory
I was raised in a household where we would yell at each other a lot., both my parents are extremely short-tempered. The neighbours never cared to intervene. I live in Sweden and people here are extremely socially reclusive. I was also in a lot of social circles where we would tease each other and say stuff without someone tattling to our teachers. So I think that my environment growing up paired with my genes really set me up for failure, because for the longest time I've been really irritable and angsty about what other people say about me. When I entered high school, things started off smooth because people were very careful around me and others. I managed to make a lot of friends and managed to get a girl (or something between that and a talking stage). Then this other very nervous guy (I guess he was my best friend at the time) who managed to establish himself at the top of my grade's social hierarchy, started despising me for removing him on snap to impress my then oneitis. I got really angry and long story short I was ostracized and I'm now blacklisted from virtually every friend group at my school. Shortly after this huge predicament I was also banned from the server.
I really wish I didn't have to write a whole paragraph about some silly high school drama, but I really wanted to underline how negatively my behaviour has been affecting me in real life, and why I eventually decided that I had to do something. I attended some anger management sessions that I found out about through a local community program. There I learnt how to channel my anger into something productive instead, like taking a walk or going to the gym. If my presence is required in a certain situation, I would instead take a step back and take deep breaths for ten seconds, before deciding upon a reaction. That way I can prevent myself from doing anything that I would later regret. Suffice to say, the results so far have been really good, I'm no longer that angry, pent-up person I was before, and I have a new friend.
I'm not proud of my behaviour on the server. I understand that I have myself to blame for the consequences of my actions, and I apologize to anyone I may have inadvertantly hurt with my comments. I am now in a much better headspace than I was before, and I have matured a lot. I should have taken action way earlier, maybe then I wouldn't have had to endure all the stuff I've been in.
I remember my first time on the server being years ago, and I was obviously too mentally immature to roleplay back then. That being said, this server is one of the only active ones left on gmod. It is also one of the only ones I can imagine myself playing on right now. I would be very grateful if you guys could have me on again.
Why should you be unbanned: I no longer feel like the person I used to be. I've made substantial progress in bettering my temparement and I feel like I am now ready to come back. I also have school starting in a week and I would like to cool off and play some SCPRP before returning (I've been on vacation and studied this whole summer). I also don't want to make it seem as if I didn't do any serious RPing. I really want to reiterate that my main issue on the server wasn't that I couldn't get into character, but that I was very easily provoked and didn't understand that the people who were e.g. "bossing" me around were just roleplaying.
Thanks for taking the time to read
Your in-game name: Johnathan Silk (if I remember correctly)
Your SteamID: STEAM_0:0:82361262
Ban Reason: Severe Toxicity [X] Stacked Bans [X] Stacked Class X NITRP LTAP
Date of ban: Jun 29 2024
Who banned you: Neptune
Ban length: About 400 days
What will you do to stop this from happening again: Some backstory
I was raised in a household where we would yell at each other a lot., both my parents are extremely short-tempered. The neighbours never cared to intervene. I live in Sweden and people here are extremely socially reclusive. I was also in a lot of social circles where we would tease each other and say stuff without someone tattling to our teachers. So I think that my environment growing up paired with my genes really set me up for failure, because for the longest time I've been really irritable and angsty about what other people say about me. When I entered high school, things started off smooth because people were very careful around me and others. I managed to make a lot of friends and managed to get a girl (or something between that and a talking stage). Then this other very nervous guy (I guess he was my best friend at the time) who managed to establish himself at the top of my grade's social hierarchy, started despising me for removing him on snap to impress my then oneitis. I got really angry and long story short I was ostracized and I'm now blacklisted from virtually every friend group at my school. Shortly after this huge predicament I was also banned from the server.
I really wish I didn't have to write a whole paragraph about some silly high school drama, but I really wanted to underline how negatively my behaviour has been affecting me in real life, and why I eventually decided that I had to do something. I attended some anger management sessions that I found out about through a local community program. There I learnt how to channel my anger into something productive instead, like taking a walk or going to the gym. If my presence is required in a certain situation, I would instead take a step back and take deep breaths for ten seconds, before deciding upon a reaction. That way I can prevent myself from doing anything that I would later regret. Suffice to say, the results so far have been really good, I'm no longer that angry, pent-up person I was before, and I have a new friend.
I'm not proud of my behaviour on the server. I understand that I have myself to blame for the consequences of my actions, and I apologize to anyone I may have inadvertantly hurt with my comments. I am now in a much better headspace than I was before, and I have matured a lot. I should have taken action way earlier, maybe then I wouldn't have had to endure all the stuff I've been in.
I remember my first time on the server being years ago, and I was obviously too mentally immature to roleplay back then. That being said, this server is one of the only active ones left on gmod. It is also one of the only ones I can imagine myself playing on right now. I would be very grateful if you guys could have me on again.
Why should you be unbanned: I no longer feel like the person I used to be. I've made substantial progress in bettering my temparement and I feel like I am now ready to come back. I also have school starting in a week and I would like to cool off and play some SCPRP before returning (I've been on vacation and studied this whole summer). I also don't want to make it seem as if I didn't do any serious RPing. I really want to reiterate that my main issue on the server wasn't that I couldn't get into character, but that I was very easily provoked and didn't understand that the people who were e.g. "bossing" me around were just roleplaying.
Thanks for taking the time to read
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