What server you were banned on: SCP-RP (USA)
Your in-game name: Radish Sr.
Your SteamID: STEAM_0:0:104796401
Ban Reason: Contact SL
Date of ban: Wed Jul 24 10:22:06 2024
Who banned you: David \ 'Redemption \'
Ban length: Permaban
What will you do to stop this from happening again: Okay. Let me break it down. I had been incredibly active during the summer months, starting from around very late May, all the way until the above date, July 24th. I had racked up somewhere around 400 hours, and to be completely honest, I was getting burnt out. I have ADHD and it was most definitely a hyperfixation at the time. Everyday I would get up early and get on SCP-RP and play until 2-3 AM. It was unhealthy, and looking back I don't even understand how I was able to sustain this, but I did.
But I was a contributing member of the foundation. I mainly played as an Internal Affairs Operative and was working hard to prove myself as a valuable member of Internal Affairs, even trying to portray myself as a "Pro-Bono Lawyer" of sorts, one who would help to negotiate charges for players and lend my insight and experience to make sure that people believe their punishments are fair, as I had seen countless times that players were being mischarged and overcharged, leaving them feeling cheated, and usually resulting in them retaliating in some way or another. I worked hard and eventually I became an ambassador...but I quickly learned that becoming an ambassador, while bringing a lot more responsibilities and opportunities, also stripped away a lot of the conversations and roleplay that I had come to love. I found a lot of my time was spent proctoring Internal Affairs tests, being dragged along to HCZ for tests that went on for far too long, and included a lot of time spent standing around doing nothing while all the MTF spoke in their teamspeak, doing a large number of uninteresting mundanities, or reprimanding Internal Affairs Agents for poor behavior. I came to love the few times I was called down to Interrogation to help with an arrest, but dread the many times I was asked to escort someone to HCZ, or asked to be spoken to by another department about such and such pointless issue.
Instead of being seen as another foundation member, as soon as I became an ambassador it felt like I was treated as an "other", treated with a bizarre sense of reverence, where RP would end as soon as I entered a room, and people always felt as if they were seconds away from being arrested. It soured my experience of the game rapidly, and I found myself falling into more and more outlandish bits, which, as an Internal Affairs Operative, was generally more acceptable for you to do, but as an Ambassador? Well no, as an ambassador you are meant to uphold a level of decorum at all times...which I quickly bored of.
Well, eventually I led my character on a long arc starting with me gaining an addiciton to the SCP-500 Pill, where I would jokingly ask high clearance level individuals if I could get an SCP-500 pill, usually resulting in them getting annoyed while I howled like a banshee with laughter. This may seem unrelated to the ban, but I'm getting there. Also I like to write. Eventually, my "addiction" to the SCP-500 Pill landed me in trouble with the Director of Internal Affairs, so I ceased that bit...only to start with a "Gambling Addiction Arc" where I would purchase several crates and crate keys at a time and open them in public areas, giving as extreme a reaction as I can each time, whether it was good or bad. Inevitably, I ran out of money, along with time. I was going back to college in early August where I would be unable to play SCP-RP, so I knew that my time as ambassador would be limited, so I decided to go out with a 'bang' if you will. I opted to steal 1,000 mL's of Class F from the Internal Affairs fridge and sell it for 100k so I could then go gamble on more crates.
Was this stupid? Yes. Was this shortsighted? Yes. Do I regret it? Truthfully, No. I understand that what I did was bad, and that I shouldn't have done it, but I also believe that...it was a good bit. I mean come on, building up this entire gambling addiction arc for my character all for it to culminate in me stealing 100 thousand dollars worth of chemicals to gamble it away on skins? And most importantly, to have those skins end up being worth VASTLY less than what I spent? That's a good bit.
But now to answer the question. What will I do to stop this from happening again? Well, I simply won't do it again, or anything bad of that caliber, ever again. I understand that's not a very complex answer to the question, but it is the truth. I will not do something like that again. I understand that lots of time and energy went into making the Class F I stole, I understand that I broke trust with the rest of the department, and I understand that I then also lied about taking after it had happened...but I can truthfully say that I have changed since that time, fundamentally as a person.
Why should you be unbanned: I believe I was, overall, a positive impact on the overall SCP-RP community during my time, from participating in the Seraph-9 ARG event, to helping players feel that they were being given fair punishments, all the way to the smallest of things, like being a friend to other server members, and even something as simple as trying to be respectful to admins. I have a number of miscellaneous warns on my account, many of them being from 2022, but a few being from 2024, but I believe that's not entirely indicative of my character. I truly believe that I was, and could still be, a positive impact on the game community, and would like to be given a second chance. I understand that I wrote a lot here, but I spent 600 hours of my life in SCP-RP, and I feel that a lapse in my judgement shouldn't dictate how my entire history on the server is judged. Whatever the decision, SCP-RP still holds a special place in my heart, and I'd like to return to making a positive impact once more.
Also, one more thing I'd like to clarify. I believe that going out with a bang is much better than fading away. Yes, I could have kept playing until I had to leave for college, but I feel that if I did so, I would feel unfulfilled, unsatisfied. Instead, I made the conscious decision to go out with a bang. I chose to burn those bridges because I wanted people to see the fire. But the thing is, bridges can be rebuilt. I want to rebuild my good connections within the server, and I think that this time, instead of going out with a bang like a bomb, I want to go out with a bang like a firework. I want to leave people with a good impression of me as opposed to a bad one this time, but the only way I can do this is if I am unbanned.
Alright, that's it. Please consider my situation carefully, but also try to understand my point of view when reading this, because I think you'll find that my situation is not only understandable, but perhaps even relatable. Thank you for your time, and I hope to join the server once more in the future.
Your in-game name: Radish Sr.
Your SteamID: STEAM_0:0:104796401
Ban Reason: Contact SL
Date of ban: Wed Jul 24 10:22:06 2024
Who banned you: David \ 'Redemption \'
Ban length: Permaban
What will you do to stop this from happening again: Okay. Let me break it down. I had been incredibly active during the summer months, starting from around very late May, all the way until the above date, July 24th. I had racked up somewhere around 400 hours, and to be completely honest, I was getting burnt out. I have ADHD and it was most definitely a hyperfixation at the time. Everyday I would get up early and get on SCP-RP and play until 2-3 AM. It was unhealthy, and looking back I don't even understand how I was able to sustain this, but I did.
But I was a contributing member of the foundation. I mainly played as an Internal Affairs Operative and was working hard to prove myself as a valuable member of Internal Affairs, even trying to portray myself as a "Pro-Bono Lawyer" of sorts, one who would help to negotiate charges for players and lend my insight and experience to make sure that people believe their punishments are fair, as I had seen countless times that players were being mischarged and overcharged, leaving them feeling cheated, and usually resulting in them retaliating in some way or another. I worked hard and eventually I became an ambassador...but I quickly learned that becoming an ambassador, while bringing a lot more responsibilities and opportunities, also stripped away a lot of the conversations and roleplay that I had come to love. I found a lot of my time was spent proctoring Internal Affairs tests, being dragged along to HCZ for tests that went on for far too long, and included a lot of time spent standing around doing nothing while all the MTF spoke in their teamspeak, doing a large number of uninteresting mundanities, or reprimanding Internal Affairs Agents for poor behavior. I came to love the few times I was called down to Interrogation to help with an arrest, but dread the many times I was asked to escort someone to HCZ, or asked to be spoken to by another department about such and such pointless issue.
Instead of being seen as another foundation member, as soon as I became an ambassador it felt like I was treated as an "other", treated with a bizarre sense of reverence, where RP would end as soon as I entered a room, and people always felt as if they were seconds away from being arrested. It soured my experience of the game rapidly, and I found myself falling into more and more outlandish bits, which, as an Internal Affairs Operative, was generally more acceptable for you to do, but as an Ambassador? Well no, as an ambassador you are meant to uphold a level of decorum at all times...which I quickly bored of.
Well, eventually I led my character on a long arc starting with me gaining an addiciton to the SCP-500 Pill, where I would jokingly ask high clearance level individuals if I could get an SCP-500 pill, usually resulting in them getting annoyed while I howled like a banshee with laughter. This may seem unrelated to the ban, but I'm getting there. Also I like to write. Eventually, my "addiction" to the SCP-500 Pill landed me in trouble with the Director of Internal Affairs, so I ceased that bit...only to start with a "Gambling Addiction Arc" where I would purchase several crates and crate keys at a time and open them in public areas, giving as extreme a reaction as I can each time, whether it was good or bad. Inevitably, I ran out of money, along with time. I was going back to college in early August where I would be unable to play SCP-RP, so I knew that my time as ambassador would be limited, so I decided to go out with a 'bang' if you will. I opted to steal 1,000 mL's of Class F from the Internal Affairs fridge and sell it for 100k so I could then go gamble on more crates.
Was this stupid? Yes. Was this shortsighted? Yes. Do I regret it? Truthfully, No. I understand that what I did was bad, and that I shouldn't have done it, but I also believe that...it was a good bit. I mean come on, building up this entire gambling addiction arc for my character all for it to culminate in me stealing 100 thousand dollars worth of chemicals to gamble it away on skins? And most importantly, to have those skins end up being worth VASTLY less than what I spent? That's a good bit.
But now to answer the question. What will I do to stop this from happening again? Well, I simply won't do it again, or anything bad of that caliber, ever again. I understand that's not a very complex answer to the question, but it is the truth. I will not do something like that again. I understand that lots of time and energy went into making the Class F I stole, I understand that I broke trust with the rest of the department, and I understand that I then also lied about taking after it had happened...but I can truthfully say that I have changed since that time, fundamentally as a person.
Why should you be unbanned: I believe I was, overall, a positive impact on the overall SCP-RP community during my time, from participating in the Seraph-9 ARG event, to helping players feel that they were being given fair punishments, all the way to the smallest of things, like being a friend to other server members, and even something as simple as trying to be respectful to admins. I have a number of miscellaneous warns on my account, many of them being from 2022, but a few being from 2024, but I believe that's not entirely indicative of my character. I truly believe that I was, and could still be, a positive impact on the game community, and would like to be given a second chance. I understand that I wrote a lot here, but I spent 600 hours of my life in SCP-RP, and I feel that a lapse in my judgement shouldn't dictate how my entire history on the server is judged. Whatever the decision, SCP-RP still holds a special place in my heart, and I'd like to return to making a positive impact once more.
Also, one more thing I'd like to clarify. I believe that going out with a bang is much better than fading away. Yes, I could have kept playing until I had to leave for college, but I feel that if I did so, I would feel unfulfilled, unsatisfied. Instead, I made the conscious decision to go out with a bang. I chose to burn those bridges because I wanted people to see the fire. But the thing is, bridges can be rebuilt. I want to rebuild my good connections within the server, and I think that this time, instead of going out with a bang like a bomb, I want to go out with a bang like a firework. I want to leave people with a good impression of me as opposed to a bad one this time, but the only way I can do this is if I am unbanned.
Alright, that's it. Please consider my situation carefully, but also try to understand my point of view when reading this, because I think you'll find that my situation is not only understandable, but perhaps even relatable. Thank you for your time, and I hope to join the server once more in the future.
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