Senior Game Master
Donator
Hey everyone,
So I've been around for a while now, since 2016 when I would first log on to Dark RP, but now it's time for me to move forward and to cut ties to this community which has given me so much fun and joy over these years.
So, if I'm going to do a final goodbye, how about I do it in a typical Valk fashion - a giant ass forum post!!
My Civilgamers Story
I first joined CG Dark RP in 2016, I was bored, playing with a friend and we decided to join as many DarkRP servers as we could and get ourselves banned. I remember joining DarkRP and being so enamoured by the atmosphere and c
ommunity straight off that bat that I decided to keep it as THE DarkRP server which I would remain unbanned from, just to play it.
I've played GMOD since I was around 10 years old, so silly game modes scubas DarkRP hold a very special and nostalgic place in my heart, hence why, at my relatively ripe old age, I still find immense enjoyment in playing a game which has been taken over by people around 10 years younger than me.
Anyways, I never really gained CG until 2019, when I rejoined again to just run around and roleplay as whatever I opted to, I never wanted to join any gangs, make money or anything, I just wanted to find a server to chill on for a few hours in the day. This is the time where I met @Rainbow Dash and some bloke called Tiger (who was some toxic angsty teenager who got quite upset at me not being the best raider after a week on the server), I'd eventually meet Nilgarf and then Harvey, and we'd start basing together, making money, mining VC and the like, standard stuff. I enjoyed the community behind it, being in a base with other people actively working towards one goal.
At this point, I got frustrated with CGSF, having a hatred for them for simply being as destructive as possible in base raids. Around this time, I joined the CG staff team, and honestly, my involvement went too far, it affected my studies, I became lazy and borderline obsessed. I'd leave whatever I was doing every 5mins to check my VC Miners, and I would spend stupid amounts of time trying to get CGSF mains into trouble, mainly, Pen, who eventually got demoted from Superadmin after a complaint I made.
I remember making friends with NDC and Zizo, then eventually Mercer and members of the wider community, NDC turned out to be a bit of a degenerate, and my involvement with him did leave a stain on my reputation that would last for at least a year. I opted to change my name from BlenheimCT to ValkyrieCT in an attempt to refresh my own reputation, and this had some success.
I ended my time on CG being one of the richer players via a Private Military I created with Zizo and Mercer, with one of my proudest base dupes. We'd sell our services to anyone in need of them, and it bought some pretty cool RP to the area. I eventually just got a little bit bored, I was doing nothing but mindlessly Bhopping around the map, occasionally going as a sewer dweller and setting up 'The Sewer Offices' which would hire, and then execute regular players.
Military RP
I fondly remember when MRP first launched, I had been out of the community for a while at this point, and seeing what was on offer felt insane, I rejoined, joined NATO, and then immediately left because I had no clue what to do, and there were around 7 trainers in a room all shouting at me to go elsewhere.
I logged back in an hour later, finally got trained, and after around 20 minutes of begging to join a regiment, I got given a tryout for ISAF, where I started as a PVT under COL Leo. There were no promotion cooldowns at that point, so I very quickly made it into NCO ranks with Xavier as our COL. Eventually, he moved on and me and Remme were selected as the leaders of ISAF, in what began the time I consider to be the golden age of MRP.
Remme would give me the autonomy I need to turn ISAF into the first true powerhouse regiment on the server, under my leadership I had the regiment organised with fresh documents, a constantly updated roster, training documents, strategy documents and a strong CO team that would take matters into their own hands. Under my leadership, ISAF went from the 'basic infantry regiment' to the hardcore infantry force we know of them today.
Remme eventually left for NHC, giving me the keys to the COL spot. Being COL of ISAF was THE most fun I have had on the server by quite a milestone, and it was at this point I had met some great friends and players. I had several excellent COs and LTCOLs under my time as COL, such as Randomgamer (Mr ESP), Luz, Danny Hunter and Bubba (yes Bubba stared as an ISAF main). We would strategise FOBs around key locations, and have a truly planned out war plan for each war, with people having specific roles. A far cry from the run and gun meat-grinder warfare we see.
I would also like to add, the community at this time was one, everyone was friendly, there were no calls for nerfs or buffs, none of the tactical staff sits we see nowadays, in fact, staff barely even got involved, RP took over most situations. I fondly remember the MPs arresting and would-be MRDMer and having him arrested for an hour before finally reporting him. Every 5 minutes I'd be kidnapped by AG and tortured, the server was there to have fun, not to beat the other team.
I left ISAF and entered NHC after Crossen had suggested I do so to give him a helping hand at the top. People don't usually remember my tenure as NHC, but I was Crossen's second in command, even ahead of Falcon. It was around this time I entered a new phase of my time in MRP, that being the time of Gamemastering and an increase in toxicity by myself.
The Toxic Side of Valk
On the day I had decided to step down from NHC to focus on my studies, I was offered a spot in Alfa Group by Compass, which I accepted, I thought it'd be some harmless fun, but it marked the beginning of an unfortunate shift in how I handled annoyance in the server. I was promoted from PSC to LTCOL, and, despite what Compass will say, I gave AG the ISAF treatment, and eventually it led to a significant boom in the regiment, leading the way from Brian Bell to take over in the future.
I'll move on to the Gamemaster stuff shortly, for now I want to talk about why I turned toxic, and how it did more damage to my reputation that was far more long lasting.
As you would expect of a 22 year old obsessed with a GMOD server, I struggled disastrously with anxiety, in November of 2020 I had my medication changed, and this led to me becoming aggressive, harsh and angry basically all of the time. I became more and more irate with NATO and 'staff bias', I convinced myself of things that weren't true, I lashed out in /ooc all the time, I became rude to staff, I was becoming a different person, I was aware of it but I couldn't control it, physically could not stop it.
I ended up, a 22 year old man, telling who was probably a teenager to openly go and commit suicide in a burst of anger over a silly comment. This isn't too untoward, you see it everywhere, but this was not who I was, and at that moment it clicked that I needed help. I would never sacrifice my own integrity to stoop to such lows, so such a change in demeanour signalled that I needed a break, and a long one at that.
Still, I couldn't just walk away, and it got worse, it cumulated in one of the worst days of my life (having had some significant personal issues) where I logged on to MRP, got quite upset at some base camping, I then ordered all of the USSR to bunker ourselves into the no-pvp debrief room. I placed concrete walls to physically prevent NATO from base camping us, honestly the concept of which I'm quite proud of. But I was unhinged in /ooc, I was kicked several times before I was eventually taken aside by Bogdan and told I was being demoted to MAJ. This stung, and I remember walking out his office and saying something incredibly toxic in /ooc. I logged on an hour later to see I was bunked down to PVT with no option of earning my rank back the easy way.
I refused promotions, I kept making jokes about being demoted, and eventually I left, but not before being MRDM banned by Falcon for something that was not my fault on New Years.
My ONE MRDM Ban
I stayed away from MRP for quite a while in order to focus on getting better and healthier mentally, and I was, I deeply regretted my outbursts and I had learned to grow up. This was until I saw many suggestions promoting helicopters on the discord! I then decided to take matters into my own hands...
In August of 2021, I logged back on to the server and began stinging JAF helicopters as a civilian, I was never caught by staff and it remains one of the funniest things I did, despite it being incredibly mingey.
I then hid inside the JAF bunks with an RPG as a militia, I would then MRDM all of JAF in one debrief, before being banned by my great friend Luz.
Official Return & Tenure as UHC
I would eventually return in a full capacity, joining AG with Kyzent as my COL. The same Kyzent who, months prior, had spent weeks complaining that ISAF was not good enough for him. I worked my way up to CPL before applying for JLT. I hadn't expected to be given such responsibility so soon given my track record, and the fact I had everything to prove. But Bogdan gave me the benefit of the doubt, under strict condition that I do not repeat my toxicity again.
I would regain my gamemaster role, and would have my first UHC application denied following a ridiculous post I made about the staff team, which wasn't very well thought through. After being shouted at Beans for a few minutes, I was given an infraction and a slap on the wrist.
I'd apply for UHC again and enter as an MGEN, where I worked so hard to lead wars and improve RP for the USSR, who, at the time, were dead in the water on Afghan. My main rival was my old friend Luz, who, because I had taught him so incredibly well, was very easy to predict, meaning the USSR began winning more and more wars, and became more and more organised.
I became inactive over the winter period, but I held the fort by creating/maintaining documents and making the tough decisions that needed to be made at that time. Eventually I was made a Senior UHC, from here I could really start bringing in positive change, and I did.
My time as SUHC was mainly spent aiming to get GRM (which would eventually become THE top spot), and once I got it, I had decided to have a severe asthma attack which, and I kid you not, has left me with very minor brain damage and a speech impediment. However, an increase in neural degradation somehow made me more perfect for the job. Once I returned full-time I organised every aspect of the USSR, every regiment got the Valk treatment, I promoted the best of them and I led the USSR to three total victories in the span of a week, albeit with the exceptional leadership of Jack G.
I left UHC after a falling out with senior staff, I was tired of not being told things, such as a move to Afghan, which undid my months of work, and I was not prepared to do it again. Things have at least now improved in this area.
My time as GRM was an absolute pleasure, and despite me whinging about the role, to be given that level of autonomy and power in the server despite my horrendous past reputation is testament to how much the staff team respect that people can change.
Gamemaster Valkyrie
What people mostly know me for now is my time as gamemaster.
My LTGEN Valkyrie arc revolutionised how events would be run on the server, and it brings me joy to see the GM team still using my event ideas to this day, and asking me for advice.
Being a GM was quite frustrating at times, but I absolutely adored running the smaller mini games which everyone enjoyed in the early hours of the morning. WW2 Replica tank battles? Done. Machete wars? Done.
Me launching you in a tiny Volvo at mach 300 into the skybox? Done.
But besides from the events, I had some notable mistakes whilst being a GM, which many people still consistently remind me of at any given opportunity. Ever wonder why I call my self the OG Davy Crocketeer? It's because I was the first one to fire the Crockett on the server AND get away with it. The USSR had no windows for a month because of it. I was unaware it had been re-enabled, so I fired it to scare some people at 1AM, and yeah, it did some significant damage, enough to destroy the signs outside the USSR base.
Another cock-up was using the !sslay * command at 2AM one night, which got me removed from the GM team for a couple of weeks, this was just prior to the toxic valk time, so my demotion appeals would be denied over and over.
What I loved most of all about being GM was being able to bring these really large-scale storylines to you guys, and whilst it mostly fell on deaf ears, there were a few of you who really seemed to enjoy the storylines, and it was truly a privilege to plan, write and execute them.
I never got chance to truly finish my LTGEN Valkyrie storyline, as I had left during an event which went very poorly, my frustration with the community became too much, and I offered my resignation from both GM and GRM to Cloak, who accepted.
I would stick around to help on the NWO campaign, I wrote a lot of the backstory and lore, and I'd like to thank the team for making me a trusted part of building it up from day one.
Being a gamemaster is fun, but I really wish they'd offer the event team more rewards, it takes a lot of time and creative skill to match the output needed for a community this large, so rewarding them the same way as staff would be incredible to see.
NWO Campaign to Today
My relationship with the NWO campaign can best be described as 'difficult'. Having worked on the update for a few months, I had seen a struggled launch and the work I put towards the NWO changed and altered in a way that meant the team really struggled upon the launch. I'd watch as the NWO would die in numbers, and my desire to again rejoin the community in a larger capacity just vanished. I had hoped to build up AOR into a hardcore police regiment with Kiwi, but instead I watched them relegated to the same pettiness that the old FSB had.
Once the weapons were balanced back, there was potential, but I felt the damage had already been done, me leaving completely was now a question of 'when' not 'if'. I decided to stick around to try and promote a healthier community in my weird, backwards way, and I was always there to light the fire under the staff team's arse to promote positive change. I had somewhat regained my toxic tag, but I've been using my platform for good, and from what I can see, people in the NWO have learned from it, and are pushing back against imbalance where they can.
Final Pings & Goodbye
These are in no particular order, and if I've missed anyone out, I do apologise.
@MysticAce - You were a friend to me, you might have not liked me all to much, but you were nice enough to be a friend, and I appreciate it. Give my best to Olly, too
@Zizo - Arabian legend, always have something funny to say where it matters.
Nilgarf - Just a kid looking to have fun, but you were always able to make us all laugh
@Remme - Absolute minge, terrible ISAF leader, but all round good kid, once I got to know you more, you were surprisingly mature and level-headed, you're gonna be fine.
@Xavier East (Obscene) - Keep your head on and stop shouting at everything jfc
@LuZ - My protege through and through, you took everything I taught you and boosted it to the max. A great friend along the way, shame how it ended for you and I disagree w/ how you were treated, but you're honestly one of the best people I've met.
@Danny Hunter - I'm invited to his wedding, I'm not even lying. True lad and I miss you dearly.
@Brandon Lees - Starting to realise a lot of these @'s aren't working. But true legend, I remember you shouting at some PVTs as a PFC telling them to shut the f*ck up in the middle of my tryout. Never lost an ounce of respect for you since.
@Philipe - French legend who wanted to make his own regiments, but one of the best COs I had, by far.
@Compass - Lol you're probably forum banned. Best leader of AG without a doubt, really enjoyed being your LTCOL, altho I'd appreciate you not calling me a retard every 2 seconds
@Cal - You're boisterous and based as fuck but again, you're a great friend and actually level headed. Would love our late night chats on TS. Gonna miss you a lot buddy.
@RandomGamer - Try not to get banned for ESP, or arrested for ILLEGAL USE OF A FIREARM you fucking madman
@Dmitri - You're a good kid, you're too insecure of yourself, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but please learn how to be more confident and how to relax a little, you're still young, don't get caught up on the small stuff. You've got the potential mate, work on yourself and you'll get there.
@Jack G I hated you when you were in JAF, absolutely loathed you, then you became my best pilot and natural successor to GRM. So I guess you're alright.
@Kiwi Thank you for looking after AOR for me and agreeing to help make changes, unfortunately I doubt you'll get the players needed to make them, but you're based as fuck and also 4 foot 6.
@shaun11103 - Scottish legend and based af, jokes aside, really chill guy and absolutely hilarious to RP with. Truly reminded me of the golden age of MRP. Still a bit pissed you mailed SAS instead of SHA CO you minge.
@Pasi Huovila - beans club minge
@Beskar - beans club minge
@Chad Power - I'm boldening this one because you are ultimately THE NICEST PERSON on MRP. You're such a nice guy and are a great friend. Will forever miss my pet goat, and getting banned from certain SCP servers for tranq abuse.
@Grimsby bloke - I don't remember who you are but your constant joking about grimsby actually made me want to die, so good job.
@Brian Bell - true northern bloke, I was more salty at you than anything when I first met you cause I was mad about losing AG LTCOL to eventually be replaced by you, but you're such a chill guy and awesome to speak to.
@Bubba - Nippleoni was a better player than you (also taught you everything about sniping)
@Nittrioni - Bubba was a better player than you
@Crossen™ - He was still kind to me despite my toxicity, and he still welcomed me back with open arms when I returned. Lovely bloke and I wish him the best in every aspect of life.
@Inventical - That little ISAF/SAS rivalry we had in the early days of NATO was special, eventually making our regiments brothers in arms. Also remember you creating an infinite explosion outside your own bunks like how tf
@Ugo - Funniest man alive, no question.
@Harry - You're young but you have potential, try keep your head more level and not to be an absolute minge. You're fine 95% of the time but that little 5% is what screws you over!
@sahns - worst MAR ever (and also funny drunk man)
@Eisenhower - cheese
@Connor | FUDGESICLE - You ACTUALLY sent me a vid of you deadlifting bro what the fuck is wrong with you
@Skeebiesquid - for someone who joined just to piss off Falcon, you've achieved your goal and more. Absolute legend, gonna miss you.
@Nikita Dorashov - Our endless fight to get UHC/NHC improved fell upon deaf ears :'(
@Astolfo - literally got hacking nerfed, what a legend.
Onto the staff pings (I'm scared of these men)
@Bogdan - Despite our working differences, you gave me that opportunity again to rise the ranks, and I really do appreciate it. Poundbakery FTW tho
@Falcon - I don't think I've ever argued with another human being more in my entire life, can definitely say we had our differences, but despite that, I have a lot of respect and time for you, even during my more toxic moments you're acting professional. A bit more time developing your management skills and you'd be spot on, you're a few years younger than me I believe, but you have the potential to do well with how professional and courteous you can be. It's a shame you can't do a Mercer and put CG in your CV.
@Cloak - Fairly sure you actively do not like me, but you've been nice at times. You go massively under-appreciated by the community and I think you deserve a little more credit for providing what has proven to be thousands of hours for people to enjoy on CG as a whole. Incredibly smart guy, but also very down to Earth. Can be a little callous with your approaches at times, but everyone seems to respect you, and when you intervene you get stuff done quickly, and correctly.
@Hydro - Really funny when you don't have your professional hat on, never lets anyone know your next move. Still can't decide if you really voted leave or not. Genuinely nice guy.
@Millar - slowly becoming more and more confident in calling out issues in the community, you've the potential to make credible and positive changes here, keep at it big guy.
**EDIT: ADDITIONAL PINGS**
@Renolk - Never got to fully develop you as a leader before you jetted off to SCP, you're a good lad and will do well if you learn to grow with criticism
@Vladislav - incredibly angry shouty man who gets incredibly angry and shouty over small things (like not pinging him in here)
To End It All
I will not be returning to the Civilgamers community in any capacity, I'll be leaving all discord servers and severing all ties with people here. I have so much to learn and so much to do in real life that I can't give time here anymore, I've had my fun, but it brings out a side of me I am not comfortable bringing out, for my own mental health and my own future I just can't be a part of the community any longer.
I am a father to three daughters, and I have spent more time on GMOD than raising them, I'm realising just how much of a terrible person that has made me, so no more.
It's been such a fun time, and it's been a time I will never forget, thank you, everyone, for making it one of, if not the, greatest online community to be a part of.
Admins: please can you lock this thread in 4 or 5 days time. I'll give people one last opportunity to call me fat, or to make resign jokes, or to say cheese, or to call me out on my BS, or to ban me for actually revealing things I did which I got away with. After the thread is locked, I'll deactivate my forum account, and I'll be gone like piss in a thunderstorm.
Also, I am aware of the egotistical implications of writing a goodbye thread this long, but I wrote it to pay my respects to the community, and to maybe make people reminisce on good times. Either way, I'm going to be gone, I don't care.
Goodbye,
Valk/ValkyrieVT/Valkon/ValkonCT/Blen/BlenheimCT
So I've been around for a while now, since 2016 when I would first log on to Dark RP, but now it's time for me to move forward and to cut ties to this community which has given me so much fun and joy over these years.
So, if I'm going to do a final goodbye, how about I do it in a typical Valk fashion - a giant ass forum post!!
My Civilgamers Story
I first joined CG Dark RP in 2016, I was bored, playing with a friend and we decided to join as many DarkRP servers as we could and get ourselves banned. I remember joining DarkRP and being so enamoured by the atmosphere and c
ommunity straight off that bat that I decided to keep it as THE DarkRP server which I would remain unbanned from, just to play it.
I've played GMOD since I was around 10 years old, so silly game modes scubas DarkRP hold a very special and nostalgic place in my heart, hence why, at my relatively ripe old age, I still find immense enjoyment in playing a game which has been taken over by people around 10 years younger than me.
Anyways, I never really gained CG until 2019, when I rejoined again to just run around and roleplay as whatever I opted to, I never wanted to join any gangs, make money or anything, I just wanted to find a server to chill on for a few hours in the day. This is the time where I met @Rainbow Dash and some bloke called Tiger (who was some toxic angsty teenager who got quite upset at me not being the best raider after a week on the server), I'd eventually meet Nilgarf and then Harvey, and we'd start basing together, making money, mining VC and the like, standard stuff. I enjoyed the community behind it, being in a base with other people actively working towards one goal.
At this point, I got frustrated with CGSF, having a hatred for them for simply being as destructive as possible in base raids. Around this time, I joined the CG staff team, and honestly, my involvement went too far, it affected my studies, I became lazy and borderline obsessed. I'd leave whatever I was doing every 5mins to check my VC Miners, and I would spend stupid amounts of time trying to get CGSF mains into trouble, mainly, Pen, who eventually got demoted from Superadmin after a complaint I made.
I remember making friends with NDC and Zizo, then eventually Mercer and members of the wider community, NDC turned out to be a bit of a degenerate, and my involvement with him did leave a stain on my reputation that would last for at least a year. I opted to change my name from BlenheimCT to ValkyrieCT in an attempt to refresh my own reputation, and this had some success.
I ended my time on CG being one of the richer players via a Private Military I created with Zizo and Mercer, with one of my proudest base dupes. We'd sell our services to anyone in need of them, and it bought some pretty cool RP to the area. I eventually just got a little bit bored, I was doing nothing but mindlessly Bhopping around the map, occasionally going as a sewer dweller and setting up 'The Sewer Offices' which would hire, and then execute regular players.
Military RP
I fondly remember when MRP first launched, I had been out of the community for a while at this point, and seeing what was on offer felt insane, I rejoined, joined NATO, and then immediately left because I had no clue what to do, and there were around 7 trainers in a room all shouting at me to go elsewhere.
I logged back in an hour later, finally got trained, and after around 20 minutes of begging to join a regiment, I got given a tryout for ISAF, where I started as a PVT under COL Leo. There were no promotion cooldowns at that point, so I very quickly made it into NCO ranks with Xavier as our COL. Eventually, he moved on and me and Remme were selected as the leaders of ISAF, in what began the time I consider to be the golden age of MRP.
Remme would give me the autonomy I need to turn ISAF into the first true powerhouse regiment on the server, under my leadership I had the regiment organised with fresh documents, a constantly updated roster, training documents, strategy documents and a strong CO team that would take matters into their own hands. Under my leadership, ISAF went from the 'basic infantry regiment' to the hardcore infantry force we know of them today.
Remme eventually left for NHC, giving me the keys to the COL spot. Being COL of ISAF was THE most fun I have had on the server by quite a milestone, and it was at this point I had met some great friends and players. I had several excellent COs and LTCOLs under my time as COL, such as Randomgamer (Mr ESP), Luz, Danny Hunter and Bubba (yes Bubba stared as an ISAF main). We would strategise FOBs around key locations, and have a truly planned out war plan for each war, with people having specific roles. A far cry from the run and gun meat-grinder warfare we see.
I would also like to add, the community at this time was one, everyone was friendly, there were no calls for nerfs or buffs, none of the tactical staff sits we see nowadays, in fact, staff barely even got involved, RP took over most situations. I fondly remember the MPs arresting and would-be MRDMer and having him arrested for an hour before finally reporting him. Every 5 minutes I'd be kidnapped by AG and tortured, the server was there to have fun, not to beat the other team.
I left ISAF and entered NHC after Crossen had suggested I do so to give him a helping hand at the top. People don't usually remember my tenure as NHC, but I was Crossen's second in command, even ahead of Falcon. It was around this time I entered a new phase of my time in MRP, that being the time of Gamemastering and an increase in toxicity by myself.
The Toxic Side of Valk
On the day I had decided to step down from NHC to focus on my studies, I was offered a spot in Alfa Group by Compass, which I accepted, I thought it'd be some harmless fun, but it marked the beginning of an unfortunate shift in how I handled annoyance in the server. I was promoted from PSC to LTCOL, and, despite what Compass will say, I gave AG the ISAF treatment, and eventually it led to a significant boom in the regiment, leading the way from Brian Bell to take over in the future.
I'll move on to the Gamemaster stuff shortly, for now I want to talk about why I turned toxic, and how it did more damage to my reputation that was far more long lasting.
As you would expect of a 22 year old obsessed with a GMOD server, I struggled disastrously with anxiety, in November of 2020 I had my medication changed, and this led to me becoming aggressive, harsh and angry basically all of the time. I became more and more irate with NATO and 'staff bias', I convinced myself of things that weren't true, I lashed out in /ooc all the time, I became rude to staff, I was becoming a different person, I was aware of it but I couldn't control it, physically could not stop it.
I ended up, a 22 year old man, telling who was probably a teenager to openly go and commit suicide in a burst of anger over a silly comment. This isn't too untoward, you see it everywhere, but this was not who I was, and at that moment it clicked that I needed help. I would never sacrifice my own integrity to stoop to such lows, so such a change in demeanour signalled that I needed a break, and a long one at that.
Still, I couldn't just walk away, and it got worse, it cumulated in one of the worst days of my life (having had some significant personal issues) where I logged on to MRP, got quite upset at some base camping, I then ordered all of the USSR to bunker ourselves into the no-pvp debrief room. I placed concrete walls to physically prevent NATO from base camping us, honestly the concept of which I'm quite proud of. But I was unhinged in /ooc, I was kicked several times before I was eventually taken aside by Bogdan and told I was being demoted to MAJ. This stung, and I remember walking out his office and saying something incredibly toxic in /ooc. I logged on an hour later to see I was bunked down to PVT with no option of earning my rank back the easy way.
I refused promotions, I kept making jokes about being demoted, and eventually I left, but not before being MRDM banned by Falcon for something that was not my fault on New Years.
My ONE MRDM Ban
I stayed away from MRP for quite a while in order to focus on getting better and healthier mentally, and I was, I deeply regretted my outbursts and I had learned to grow up. This was until I saw many suggestions promoting helicopters on the discord! I then decided to take matters into my own hands...
In August of 2021, I logged back on to the server and began stinging JAF helicopters as a civilian, I was never caught by staff and it remains one of the funniest things I did, despite it being incredibly mingey.
I then hid inside the JAF bunks with an RPG as a militia, I would then MRDM all of JAF in one debrief, before being banned by my great friend Luz.
Official Return & Tenure as UHC
I would eventually return in a full capacity, joining AG with Kyzent as my COL. The same Kyzent who, months prior, had spent weeks complaining that ISAF was not good enough for him. I worked my way up to CPL before applying for JLT. I hadn't expected to be given such responsibility so soon given my track record, and the fact I had everything to prove. But Bogdan gave me the benefit of the doubt, under strict condition that I do not repeat my toxicity again.
I would regain my gamemaster role, and would have my first UHC application denied following a ridiculous post I made about the staff team, which wasn't very well thought through. After being shouted at Beans for a few minutes, I was given an infraction and a slap on the wrist.
I'd apply for UHC again and enter as an MGEN, where I worked so hard to lead wars and improve RP for the USSR, who, at the time, were dead in the water on Afghan. My main rival was my old friend Luz, who, because I had taught him so incredibly well, was very easy to predict, meaning the USSR began winning more and more wars, and became more and more organised.
I became inactive over the winter period, but I held the fort by creating/maintaining documents and making the tough decisions that needed to be made at that time. Eventually I was made a Senior UHC, from here I could really start bringing in positive change, and I did.
My time as SUHC was mainly spent aiming to get GRM (which would eventually become THE top spot), and once I got it, I had decided to have a severe asthma attack which, and I kid you not, has left me with very minor brain damage and a speech impediment. However, an increase in neural degradation somehow made me more perfect for the job. Once I returned full-time I organised every aspect of the USSR, every regiment got the Valk treatment, I promoted the best of them and I led the USSR to three total victories in the span of a week, albeit with the exceptional leadership of Jack G.
I left UHC after a falling out with senior staff, I was tired of not being told things, such as a move to Afghan, which undid my months of work, and I was not prepared to do it again. Things have at least now improved in this area.
My time as GRM was an absolute pleasure, and despite me whinging about the role, to be given that level of autonomy and power in the server despite my horrendous past reputation is testament to how much the staff team respect that people can change.
Gamemaster Valkyrie
What people mostly know me for now is my time as gamemaster.
My LTGEN Valkyrie arc revolutionised how events would be run on the server, and it brings me joy to see the GM team still using my event ideas to this day, and asking me for advice.
Being a GM was quite frustrating at times, but I absolutely adored running the smaller mini games which everyone enjoyed in the early hours of the morning. WW2 Replica tank battles? Done. Machete wars? Done.
Me launching you in a tiny Volvo at mach 300 into the skybox? Done.
But besides from the events, I had some notable mistakes whilst being a GM, which many people still consistently remind me of at any given opportunity. Ever wonder why I call my self the OG Davy Crocketeer? It's because I was the first one to fire the Crockett on the server AND get away with it. The USSR had no windows for a month because of it. I was unaware it had been re-enabled, so I fired it to scare some people at 1AM, and yeah, it did some significant damage, enough to destroy the signs outside the USSR base.
Another cock-up was using the !sslay * command at 2AM one night, which got me removed from the GM team for a couple of weeks, this was just prior to the toxic valk time, so my demotion appeals would be denied over and over.
What I loved most of all about being GM was being able to bring these really large-scale storylines to you guys, and whilst it mostly fell on deaf ears, there were a few of you who really seemed to enjoy the storylines, and it was truly a privilege to plan, write and execute them.
I never got chance to truly finish my LTGEN Valkyrie storyline, as I had left during an event which went very poorly, my frustration with the community became too much, and I offered my resignation from both GM and GRM to Cloak, who accepted.
I would stick around to help on the NWO campaign, I wrote a lot of the backstory and lore, and I'd like to thank the team for making me a trusted part of building it up from day one.
Being a gamemaster is fun, but I really wish they'd offer the event team more rewards, it takes a lot of time and creative skill to match the output needed for a community this large, so rewarding them the same way as staff would be incredible to see.
NWO Campaign to Today
My relationship with the NWO campaign can best be described as 'difficult'. Having worked on the update for a few months, I had seen a struggled launch and the work I put towards the NWO changed and altered in a way that meant the team really struggled upon the launch. I'd watch as the NWO would die in numbers, and my desire to again rejoin the community in a larger capacity just vanished. I had hoped to build up AOR into a hardcore police regiment with Kiwi, but instead I watched them relegated to the same pettiness that the old FSB had.
Once the weapons were balanced back, there was potential, but I felt the damage had already been done, me leaving completely was now a question of 'when' not 'if'. I decided to stick around to try and promote a healthier community in my weird, backwards way, and I was always there to light the fire under the staff team's arse to promote positive change. I had somewhat regained my toxic tag, but I've been using my platform for good, and from what I can see, people in the NWO have learned from it, and are pushing back against imbalance where they can.
Final Pings & Goodbye
These are in no particular order, and if I've missed anyone out, I do apologise.
@MysticAce - You were a friend to me, you might have not liked me all to much, but you were nice enough to be a friend, and I appreciate it. Give my best to Olly, too
@Zizo - Arabian legend, always have something funny to say where it matters.
Nilgarf - Just a kid looking to have fun, but you were always able to make us all laugh
@Remme - Absolute minge, terrible ISAF leader, but all round good kid, once I got to know you more, you were surprisingly mature and level-headed, you're gonna be fine.
@Xavier East (Obscene) - Keep your head on and stop shouting at everything jfc
@LuZ - My protege through and through, you took everything I taught you and boosted it to the max. A great friend along the way, shame how it ended for you and I disagree w/ how you were treated, but you're honestly one of the best people I've met.
@Danny Hunter - I'm invited to his wedding, I'm not even lying. True lad and I miss you dearly.
@Brandon Lees - Starting to realise a lot of these @'s aren't working. But true legend, I remember you shouting at some PVTs as a PFC telling them to shut the f*ck up in the middle of my tryout. Never lost an ounce of respect for you since.
@Philipe - French legend who wanted to make his own regiments, but one of the best COs I had, by far.
@Compass - Lol you're probably forum banned. Best leader of AG without a doubt, really enjoyed being your LTCOL, altho I'd appreciate you not calling me a retard every 2 seconds
@Cal - You're boisterous and based as fuck but again, you're a great friend and actually level headed. Would love our late night chats on TS. Gonna miss you a lot buddy.
@RandomGamer - Try not to get banned for ESP, or arrested for ILLEGAL USE OF A FIREARM you fucking madman
@Dmitri - You're a good kid, you're too insecure of yourself, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but please learn how to be more confident and how to relax a little, you're still young, don't get caught up on the small stuff. You've got the potential mate, work on yourself and you'll get there.
@Jack G I hated you when you were in JAF, absolutely loathed you, then you became my best pilot and natural successor to GRM. So I guess you're alright.
@Kiwi Thank you for looking after AOR for me and agreeing to help make changes, unfortunately I doubt you'll get the players needed to make them, but you're based as fuck and also 4 foot 6.
@shaun11103 - Scottish legend and based af, jokes aside, really chill guy and absolutely hilarious to RP with. Truly reminded me of the golden age of MRP. Still a bit pissed you mailed SAS instead of SHA CO you minge.
@Pasi Huovila - beans club minge
@Beskar - beans club minge
@Chad Power - I'm boldening this one because you are ultimately THE NICEST PERSON on MRP. You're such a nice guy and are a great friend. Will forever miss my pet goat, and getting banned from certain SCP servers for tranq abuse.
@Grimsby bloke - I don't remember who you are but your constant joking about grimsby actually made me want to die, so good job.
@Brian Bell - true northern bloke, I was more salty at you than anything when I first met you cause I was mad about losing AG LTCOL to eventually be replaced by you, but you're such a chill guy and awesome to speak to.
@Bubba - Nippleoni was a better player than you (also taught you everything about sniping)
@Nittrioni - Bubba was a better player than you
@Crossen™ - He was still kind to me despite my toxicity, and he still welcomed me back with open arms when I returned. Lovely bloke and I wish him the best in every aspect of life.
@Inventical - That little ISAF/SAS rivalry we had in the early days of NATO was special, eventually making our regiments brothers in arms. Also remember you creating an infinite explosion outside your own bunks like how tf
@Ugo - Funniest man alive, no question.
@Harry - You're young but you have potential, try keep your head more level and not to be an absolute minge. You're fine 95% of the time but that little 5% is what screws you over!
@sahns - worst MAR ever (and also funny drunk man)
@Eisenhower - cheese
@Connor | FUDGESICLE - You ACTUALLY sent me a vid of you deadlifting bro what the fuck is wrong with you
@Skeebiesquid - for someone who joined just to piss off Falcon, you've achieved your goal and more. Absolute legend, gonna miss you.
@Nikita Dorashov - Our endless fight to get UHC/NHC improved fell upon deaf ears :'(
@Astolfo - literally got hacking nerfed, what a legend.
Onto the staff pings (I'm scared of these men)
@Bogdan - Despite our working differences, you gave me that opportunity again to rise the ranks, and I really do appreciate it. Poundbakery FTW tho
@Falcon - I don't think I've ever argued with another human being more in my entire life, can definitely say we had our differences, but despite that, I have a lot of respect and time for you, even during my more toxic moments you're acting professional. A bit more time developing your management skills and you'd be spot on, you're a few years younger than me I believe, but you have the potential to do well with how professional and courteous you can be. It's a shame you can't do a Mercer and put CG in your CV.
@Cloak - Fairly sure you actively do not like me, but you've been nice at times. You go massively under-appreciated by the community and I think you deserve a little more credit for providing what has proven to be thousands of hours for people to enjoy on CG as a whole. Incredibly smart guy, but also very down to Earth. Can be a little callous with your approaches at times, but everyone seems to respect you, and when you intervene you get stuff done quickly, and correctly.
@Hydro - Really funny when you don't have your professional hat on, never lets anyone know your next move. Still can't decide if you really voted leave or not. Genuinely nice guy.
@Millar - slowly becoming more and more confident in calling out issues in the community, you've the potential to make credible and positive changes here, keep at it big guy.
**EDIT: ADDITIONAL PINGS**
@Renolk - Never got to fully develop you as a leader before you jetted off to SCP, you're a good lad and will do well if you learn to grow with criticism
@Vladislav - incredibly angry shouty man who gets incredibly angry and shouty over small things (like not pinging him in here)
To End It All
I will not be returning to the Civilgamers community in any capacity, I'll be leaving all discord servers and severing all ties with people here. I have so much to learn and so much to do in real life that I can't give time here anymore, I've had my fun, but it brings out a side of me I am not comfortable bringing out, for my own mental health and my own future I just can't be a part of the community any longer.
I am a father to three daughters, and I have spent more time on GMOD than raising them, I'm realising just how much of a terrible person that has made me, so no more.
It's been such a fun time, and it's been a time I will never forget, thank you, everyone, for making it one of, if not the, greatest online community to be a part of.
Admins: please can you lock this thread in 4 or 5 days time. I'll give people one last opportunity to call me fat, or to make resign jokes, or to say cheese, or to call me out on my BS, or to ban me for actually revealing things I did which I got away with. After the thread is locked, I'll deactivate my forum account, and I'll be gone like piss in a thunderstorm.
Also, I am aware of the egotistical implications of writing a goodbye thread this long, but I wrote it to pay my respects to the community, and to maybe make people reminisce on good times. Either way, I'm going to be gone, I don't care.
Goodbye,
Valk/ValkyrieVT/Valkon/ValkonCT/Blen/BlenheimCT
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