Your in-game name: "Second"
Your SteamID: STEAM_0:1:85768677
Your steam community link: https://steamcommunity.com/id/TheSecondDiaryKeeper/
Date of blacklist: 14/05/24
Who blacklisted you (if known): Ellie
To the best of your knowledge, why were you blacklisted: I was blacklisted for alleged involvement with Puggo during a massive plot against a lot of members of the community.
List any times you have used methods to change or hide your IP: I have not (to my knowledge) used a VPN on CN
List any alt accounts: I do not have any alts to my knowledge that have played on CN (I may be mistaken and have forgot, if so I apologize)
Prior to this, have you ever been warned/kicked/banned/blacklisted: Yes, I have 3 warns and 1 ban.
What will you do to stop this from happening again: In the future, I will attempt to better my image publically as well as avoid drama and problems to the best of my ability. I will also try to maintain distance from past drama, and strive to work on myself more.
Why should you be unblacklisted: I've taken a lot of time to ruminate on why everything went down how it was, and while I don't fully agree with Ellie's decision to blacklist me, I understand why she did so. During our conversation(s), it was made very apparent that I was not the one who distributed screenshots to be malicious. I sent them to friends in confidence in a state of duress who then sent them around and used them in the aforementioned smear campaign against the character of the GOC Command Team, specifically a user named Blackout.
The last "nail in the coffin" from Ellie was me failing to warn the GOC of the upcoming harassment campaign against them, but when this had been going down, I was at work and also disconnected from the CN and GMod communities for over 2 months. Most of the GOC had me blocked or made very clear they did NOT want to associate with me because of drama between myself and a couple members of the GOC, especially Blackout. Ellie had asked if I attempted to warn a user named Erin "Foxwell" of the upcoming attack on her (which was depicted in the conversation between me and someone responsible for the attack, given to her at request by me), which I said no because of the aforementioned reasons. I had nothing to do with the harassment of the UNGOC, and I made very clear I wanted nothing to do with the drama to both the individuals responsible for it and to Ellie, the NL member taking my case.
I'll also say that I do not condone the harassment that Foxwell or other members of the GOC went through. I never wanted the stuff between me and Blackout to go viral, it was done before I even said anything. I will maintain I have no clue how the person who leaked everything even got the screenshots to begin with, and I do not agree with how he went about doing so. If he had a complaint it should've gone through proper channels as opposed to a massive nuke to harass and belittle innocent people like Foxwell or Ryota.
This does not absolve me of blame, I shouldn't have gotten into a situation with Blackout to begin with, and I shouldn't have shown my friends like I did, but in the moment when I sent screenshots, which was months before the incident occurred resulting in my blacklist, I was in a state of mental duress and not mentally or physically well. I also regret not being stricter with the individuals involved in not involving me in their messes, I should have said no instead of dismissing their claims and saying I didn't care what they did in accordance to drama. I have taken great strides in my mental and physical well-being and I believe I am ready to return to this community.
As mentioned, the events relating to my blacklist happened months before the aforementioned nuke post, and in the timeframe between the actual incident and the screenshots getting leaked, I had settled the issue with all respective parties and decided to distance myself from them, before shortly after distancing myself from CN completely to focus on real-life priorities.
I'd like to end this statement by saying I am aware that quite a few people in and out of the Staff/NL team are not happy with me, don't like me, or just downright hate me. While I may not understand everyone's reasoning, if given the opportunity, I would like to ask for a second chance to prove myself to you all. I've taken the past 8 or so months to grow as a person and change for what I would believe to be better. It does not absolve me of my past mistakes, I am aware, and I do apologize for everything my past actions have done, especially to people I once considered friends.
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