- Jan 8, 2023
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The "Me and I" - Why It Applies to Us All
Have you ever felt that you're in trouble when you're not in trouble, but being reprimanded for something you had to do?
Or that after doing something your own way, you question whether it might be weird or wrong?
We all experience this. It's something that humans, from the youngest child to the oldest adult deal with.
This lecture will talk about "Me and I", the possession of self, and why we often feel confused about our actions and decisions.
It's a basic part of human development that helps explain why we sometimes feel like we're being pulled in different directions.
By looking at examples in school, work, and games, we’ll explore how this idea shows up in everyday life, whether it's about being punished, training someone new, or being expected to stay positive all the time.
The "Me and I" Concept
This notion comes from sociologist George Herbert Mead. He proposed that a person's identity is composed of two parts:
These two components are always interacting and influence how we think and act.
Where This Applies to Work Systems
Work systems that require you to train your replacement or rely on constant positive reinforcement can lead to internal conflict.
Here is how the "Me and I" concept can create problems in systems built around praise and role replacement:
People Don't Want to Be Replaceable
The "I" part of a person wants to feel special and valued. When someone is asked to train their replacement, it can feel like their worth is being reduced to a task list. This might make operational sense, but emotionally, it feels personal.
Positive Reinforcement Is Not Always Welcome
The "Me" part will usually accept compliments because that is what social norms expect. However, the "I" part may feel that constant praise is fake, especially when it seems like a tool to keep people compliant. If everything gets praised, then praise starts to lose its meaning.
Lack of Freedom
When systems are too rigid and allow no space for individuality, the "I" part feels restricted. Even when someone receives a reward, it can feel like they are just following instructions rather than doing something meaningful.
Forgetting the "I"
In systems where following expectations is always required, the "Me" side becomes dominant over time. As a result, people may begin to lose touch with what they actually want or what makes them different. This often leads to frustration or burnout.
Understanding "Me and I" — Like an Amusement Park
Think of your thoughts and feelings like a trip to an amusement park.
You really want to ride your favorite roller coaster. That's your "I" the part of you that knows what you want and is excited to go after it.
But then you see the line. It's long. It's slow. There are rules. That's your "Me" the part of you that understands how things work, what others expect, and what you're supposed to do.
Some people leave the line because the ride isn't worth the wait for them. Others stay in line because it means a lot to them.
That feeling, wanting to go, but knowing you have to wait, is the same kind of pull we feel every day.
This happens at school, at work, in games, and in life. It's the balance between being ourselves and doing what is expected.
Understanding this helps explain why we sometimes feel frustrated or stuck, even when we're trying our best.
In Conclusion
People want to feel that their work matters and that they are more than just a part of a process. When a system expects you to train your replacement and always respond to positivity, it can feel like your individuality does not matter. This can make the system feel fake or even harmful, despite good intentions.
To avoid this, work systems should support individuality while still promoting structure and consistency. A healthy balance makes people feel valued, not replaceable.
Have you ever felt that you're in trouble when you're not in trouble, but being reprimanded for something you had to do?
Or that after doing something your own way, you question whether it might be weird or wrong?
We all experience this. It's something that humans, from the youngest child to the oldest adult deal with.
This lecture will talk about "Me and I", the possession of self, and why we often feel confused about our actions and decisions.
It's a basic part of human development that helps explain why we sometimes feel like we're being pulled in different directions.
By looking at examples in school, work, and games, we’ll explore how this idea shows up in everyday life, whether it's about being punished, training someone new, or being expected to stay positive all the time.
The "Me and I" Concept
This notion comes from sociologist George Herbert Mead. He proposed that a person's identity is composed of two parts:
- The "I" is your instinctual side that acts on impulse and wants to do things your way.
- The "Me" is the socially conforming side that follows rules and considers how others will perceive you.
These two components are always interacting and influence how we think and act.
Where This Applies to Work Systems
Work systems that require you to train your replacement or rely on constant positive reinforcement can lead to internal conflict.
Here is how the "Me and I" concept can create problems in systems built around praise and role replacement:
People Don't Want to Be Replaceable
The "I" part of a person wants to feel special and valued. When someone is asked to train their replacement, it can feel like their worth is being reduced to a task list. This might make operational sense, but emotionally, it feels personal.
Positive Reinforcement Is Not Always Welcome
The "Me" part will usually accept compliments because that is what social norms expect. However, the "I" part may feel that constant praise is fake, especially when it seems like a tool to keep people compliant. If everything gets praised, then praise starts to lose its meaning.
Lack of Freedom
When systems are too rigid and allow no space for individuality, the "I" part feels restricted. Even when someone receives a reward, it can feel like they are just following instructions rather than doing something meaningful.
Forgetting the "I"
In systems where following expectations is always required, the "Me" side becomes dominant over time. As a result, people may begin to lose touch with what they actually want or what makes them different. This often leads to frustration or burnout.
Understanding "Me and I" — Like an Amusement Park
Think of your thoughts and feelings like a trip to an amusement park.
You really want to ride your favorite roller coaster. That's your "I" the part of you that knows what you want and is excited to go after it.
But then you see the line. It's long. It's slow. There are rules. That's your "Me" the part of you that understands how things work, what others expect, and what you're supposed to do.
Some people leave the line because the ride isn't worth the wait for them. Others stay in line because it means a lot to them.
That feeling, wanting to go, but knowing you have to wait, is the same kind of pull we feel every day.
This happens at school, at work, in games, and in life. It's the balance between being ourselves and doing what is expected.
Understanding this helps explain why we sometimes feel frustrated or stuck, even when we're trying our best.
In Conclusion
People want to feel that their work matters and that they are more than just a part of a process. When a system expects you to train your replacement and always respond to positivity, it can feel like your individuality does not matter. This can make the system feel fake or even harmful, despite good intentions.
To avoid this, work systems should support individuality while still promoting structure and consistency. A healthy balance makes people feel valued, not replaceable.
