One last message

It's time

Some people expected this, as I said, this year would be my last, it was just a question of when.
I had a lot of plans for how to send my final goodbyes, since this will be my last time on a CN server (more details bellow) so I decided to use this post as one last message before I go, I don't know who will take the time to read this, but I wanted to leave with no regrets, so here is everything I wanted to say.
Expect some broken English, I got no one to proof read this properly.

I know some people cannot be asked to read walls of text so in that case,

Anyone who wants to see player mentions only go at the bottom part of this post.

The beginning:

I joined CN when it was still called Civil Gamers back in July/August 2022, I don’t have the exact date anymore, but it was during summer holidays.
A friend of mine bought me GMOD after we joked about playing an SCP roleplay server, right after playing the very bad roblox SCP rp game.
We first joined French servers but they all sucked, I saw this CG server with a lot of players and decided to try it, you can guess how that turned out.
We both ended up setting our goal to joining Nu7 so we eventually could make it to ISD (how A1 and O1 used to go by).
I eventually got into Nu7, my friend didn’t as he had to stop playing to focus on IRL matters.

Nu7 Times:

I ended up staying in Nu7, way longer then I wanted to.
547 days in total without resigning, I do not hold this number as a medal, because really I ended up hating my time there more then I like to admit.
Nu7 at first was fun, everything from the combat the people, it was a nice place to mess around and spend my free time on.
A lot of my good Nu7 memories come from there.

Eventually I got proposed LDR when I was SGT after a logo competition that I won, basically a system you needed to join to get into CO, a CO training course essentially, with slower promos to CSG but making you eligible for CO.
When I did get CO, the first month was fine, then, Site Command decided the regiment wasn’t doing well enough, and that is where I saw things I still hate to this day about this server.

People micromanaging, telling you how you are doing things wrong, asking how you will deal with it, telling you your idea sucks, then doing them for you, they work, get the credit, and keep lowering your value because you are just an MTF CO and have no clue how to run anything, all you do is combat after all no?
I had to spend hours debating in channels with Ethics at the time who was actively investigating, I sent a full message to them telling them to avoid policing in channels because it’s making the players more toxic only for them to say they are in the channels to monitor that toxicity.
Talking to a wall would have been easier.

This wave of things all started when I was LT, the more I got promoted, the worse it got.
I still to this day believe that MTF CO is the worst possible thing you can choose on this server.
The countless hours, sometimes spent because I was pressured to take action on things when I was at university with threats of infractions etc... was insane. And it’s even more depressing when I saw all my commanders fall 1 by 1 due to bullshit reasons, with people intentionally over monitoring your regiment to raise ANY problem they find to the point a good chunk of your Nu7s during any activity was just A1 and O1 spying on you for SC
Seeing people you believed where friends go and talk in your back to their "actual friends", then get you in trouble instead of confronting you... Just so they could get that sweat promo to SA or whatever they where going for later,
It was depressing.

When I got COM I set myself the goal of fixing the regiment, I failed. Sadly IRL issues didn’t help, internet dying among my pc also dying prevented me from playing. When I did get back I was pressured to take action and eventually got demoted.
Replaced by Auburn.
You can imagine my face when as soon as Auburn got COM, a content team member at the time (not the big CS he is today),he instantly managed to get discussions about Nu7 buffs actually dealt with after months of saying we needed them.
All of the buffs COs asked for back in the day are all on Nu7 now, it took more then a year of COMs complaining getting demoted for a content team to replace us and get the change done.

Thankfully content team these days do something instead of sitting by, but I still see this where they do things without really listening to player feedback as much as they should.

When I resigned from Nu7 it literally felt like a weight off my shoulder.
To this day I still do not find full enjoyment out of any applied positions,
because it still reminds me of having to deal with everything I had to in Nu7.

SA and ETHICS:

This part will be much shorter since I didn’t spend much time in both of these.

SA was an attempt at something else.
After being Nu7 for so long and being a GM, roleplay was the number 1 thing I did, so I hopped SA would fill that niche.
It did for a bit, but I quickly realized how utterly useless SA is compared to Site Command.
Everything we do, Site Command could do, everything we did we purely did because Site Command decided it was our duties so we had something to do.
While the roleplay was better, I now wanted to go for Ethics because it was quite clear more roleplay could be done from there then SA.
I know SA has changed, but in general Site Command is the main reason SA never did good. Why have an administration department to lead Site when Site Command can do it too and you have 2 of them?

Ethics was the best role I got from a player perspective. I was free to do anything, any roleplay I wanted and could get any department into that roleplay since I was able to contact everyone without it being strange for my department to do so.
However this was also at the time where I got a job, this meant I wasn’t able to play as much at all and had to choose between GM or Ethics, the choice was rather simple to make in my eyes.

What also didn’t help was the "aftertaste" of Nu7 still being there, fueled even more by having access to the channels where some of the things I experienced where decided, proving a lot of my theories correct.
In general SA and ETHICS was more like a, temporary thing, tho the small time I did have in Ethics was amazing.


Now for the big one
THE GM EXPERIENCE:

I joined the GM team during my time in Nu7, around when I was Captain.
I was recommended due to my PAC skills at the time being fairly decent (tho very far away from where I am now).
TGM was a rather strange one for me.
My first mentor left before I could properly finish so I had 2 mentors eventually ending with Broda to finish it off.
It’s during my TGM days that I accidentally gave half the server suicide bombs causing everyone to commit mass suicide attacks...
(SSL wasn’t too happy I can tell you that much!)
When I finally got GM, I locked in on PAC3 after Jeremy Siens showed me some of the stuff you could do.
Making PAC scenes discovering glitches on accident, I spent most of my time standing in a box making PAC.
Was it worth it?
Y E S
This is the only time where I will let my ego take the better of me by saying I became the "Best" PAC maker on the server, heck I got 2 awards for it!
From learning PAC scenes, to that 1 bird boss I did that got me SGM, to making the first PAC3 cut scene on the server among many other discoveries, including some SSL would probably tell me of if I shared them...

It was quite ironic how I ended up becoming the unofficial pac3 advisor near my last year in GM, since even devs would ask stuff about pac to me. Yet it’s scarier to think our pac3 was limited, we are like ants compared to what people in the pac3 discord do sometimes...
All this to say, GM was the best part of the server for me, I stayed 3 years in it for a reason.
This dosn’t mean it was perfect, far from it.

Indirectly a lot of the things I saw in Nu7 reflected there too, but differently.
When I first joined the GM team it felt like an afterthought to NL, we barely had any tools. GM obj/swep wasn't there (gm obj just allowed you to spawn and item that when you pressed E it said text, yup that was it), event server wasn't a thing, We didn't have event roles really, no GM tp and warp commands, pac3 wasn’t updat- wait no it still isn’t and actually we had more but a certain NL member removed some features due to exploits.
All in all it was not really looked after, and in fact besides ET lead, SSL barely did anything, we rarely interacted with them at all where as now they show up in chats more.

The problem that quickly showed first where leadership issues. We had times where some event leads did LITTERALY NOTHING, didn’t monitor us, canceled things like meeting because they could not be asked to attend them after they missed multiple.
But also a lot of nepotism and bias from some leads.
From my 10/12 anniversary rebellion against the o5 being forced by the event lead at the time to go in favor of o5 by forcing CI that I had allied with at the time to sell the info to F or else actions would be taken, turning the roleplay I had planned to get on floor 3 to get canceled, in favor of Nu7 getting executed on floor 2. (insane 5 minute long rebelion). Seemingly because their friends in o5 didn’t want this to happen (justification was CI would not ally with treasonous Nu7 in lore to defeat the o5, people should read the lore more I guess).
To people getting promoted despite not contributing to the GM team in any level but they where friends with the lead and they where chill I guess so SGM tier, only to be inactive and contribute nothing.

I have experienced in those 3 years a large enough amounts of things that have disappointed me from CN.
It’s tragic that a server with such a passionate community is basically being directed by whatever the people friends with the higher ups want.
When we asked for event server, we didn’t get it, Broda asks and now it’s a thing ? No offense against Broda himself but it’s so weird to me that you could have a group of people ask for one thing nothing gets done (Nu7 moment) but when 1 guy gets here suddenly it can happen, it’s possible, we can do it sure.
I would prefer if what I was saying was just pure cope and insanity filled comments but sadly I have seen it multiple times in multiple places on this server, from my time in Nu7 to my last days in the GM team.

Even SSL members just not carting about anything and then just dropping something on the players and they have to deal with it and play it out.
Like Auburn going on Nexus to force GOC to stop a war CI was loosing and starting an rp scenario.
At least the GOCs enjoyed it somewhat before it all died because one GM decided to force an event basically and an other gave a killing order of all GOC on site instead of doing something else.
I could play the finger pointer all day but I won’t, because I think It would not change the underlying message of my leaving post.
This community has potential, it’s a very popular server, and the SCP RP aspect of Civil Network has been it’s strongest asset for a while now (literally their last servers standing with MRP dying last) yet it’s flawed by leadership that only really looks where their interests and friends are more then they should.
Not saying every SSL is worthless, I can tell these people have a clear passion for this server, some even play it regularly despite the duties they also have to follow, but I will never have the same vision of CN now that I have seen all the things that I have seen.

I am disapointed.


Now the coup de grace, what is my plan moving forward? Well with this resignation I will stop playing SCP rp, I will stop playing CN and any servers they may release. This isn’t a small break it’s more like a final goodbye for the player side of things. I will probably still lurk in the discord to judge some PACs or chat with some people I know.
But enough is enough, I endured for 3 years now, I had my fun, I had my rage.
I met some good friends here, or people I am indifferent to.
At the end of the day this is just a game, I just wish more people understood that instead of starting drama everywhere...

Anyways this was boring let’s mention some people now!
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Mentions:
I stayed here a long time so expect a few names to pop up, including some long gone. I may have forgotten some but I tried to mention as many as I could remember/think of.

The best of the best:

@Niox one of the greatest friends I made here. It’s crazy how some random SCP talk with that one CI main ended up huh...
@Pyrite I never really thanked you for being one of the few people that listened to all the problems we had in Nu7 when you where SA back in the day and later Ethics. Generaly an amazing person.
@Cade Valentine from being an amazing Nu7 CO to work with to vanishing completely and then re interacting with me a while later, you where always a nice person to talk to and your roleplay was great! And thank you for the recent figuring self out thing :)
@SynergyJohn words cannot describe the legend that you are. John SL himself incarnated. Anyways let’s get on my Polaris we got a job to do.
@yoru~ The only gm I have known that managed to match my pac sanity to some extent. Tho you have much to learn still... you are currently the second best pac gm... well the first now since I am gone...
@Vxnt very nice person, great to work with as gm, and a severe nerd every time I hosted minecraft servers (please Rev don’t hurt me)


Amazing People from the Nu7 Times:

@Goondra "Sleepy" we don’t interact as much but I will always remember the hours we spend talking in teamspeak from Nu7 to just IRL stuff. I can never forget that.
@ElWarren from a general fun Nu7 to interact with, to a very helpful event character for my story line back in the day. It was nice to see you back. We totally should warframe someday!
Explosive his forum account seems to be dead, but he was a legendary COM.
@RedBubble55 you are the only reason I am in the GM team. You allowed me to get Vpoints back then which I used to get pac3, the rest is history
@Leonardothygreat My original COM. You showed me the ropes, a shame you where not there for that long.
@Otters the legend himself, no words cannot describe how based you where. Thanks for the weapon skins btw! Used em till I resigned.

The event team people:
@Jimmy Swan nice person. You could be better if you locked in, I still stand by it.
@Mheeb get better at math without me from now on, pac needs you.
@ArcherOfLegend not GM as of writing but I will give you credits for being always honest. Good luck as E11 maj.
@Skinner "I will resign eventually I swear!", asside from that your rp making was cool, and you had skills no other gms really matched. Generaly believe you getting SGM was a good thing to this day.
@ionboy64 I will mention you here instead of under Nu7 just to piss you off! You where a cool Nu7 CO back then, I remember the deadly duo you where with Saphira.
@Houston Benton GG dude GG
@Julien White while you ragebait like a god, you where the best duper I have ever met.
Jeremy Siens the one that made me fully discover pac by showing me what could be done. Still one of the few people I concider best at pac to have graced this server.
Richard Mann a man of too much lore. Always interresting talks with you.
@Broda while I had issues with how you ran some things back in the day as Site Command, I will never be able to judge your abilities to gather people as a gm to get teamwork done and players engaged. There is a reason you SGM many times, so if you got HGM it would not even be a surprised. Good luck with that info reset!

High ranking staff people:
@Tay your time as ET lead was interesting. You where one of the better ones from all the ones I experienced, enjoyed our talks and you always listened. Keep that mentality as you get up to community supervisor when GTA6 releases.
@Snake like tay great ET lead. Can’t believe the guy I yapped to back when he was ET lead would eventually reach the big leagues. Keep cooking man.
@Auburn I still cannot describe the joy I had when we talked about all the buffs coming to Nu7 after having to deal with the worst MTF kit for so long. Thanks for that.
@YandereMuffin dude lock in dude...
@Kaneki Fujimoto I can teach you pac one day.

General people to mention:
@Aoife I barrely knew you, then learned you had Star Citizen. Next time let’s pray the main gun on our Polaris dosn’t die.
@'Clank' nice person who understood why the hatman had to happen.
@Zen E&T planned to release it’s rework next year according to leaks.
@ResidentSkooter nice person to chat with!
@jane "puddles" whitlock one of the pac nerds. Let’s play helldiver sometime!
@Charles "Ze" Whitmee the respect I held for you due to how long you stayed in the positions you held... Nice person to interact and roleplay with.
@Doug Star Citizen when?
@Ronin not gona lie you stayed in goc too long. You where an OK gm but a cool person to interact with.
@Reiner Zephyran we need to build that one mc map for the train now that I am free.
@Jesse Phil Fring your pac was detrimental to server health.
@Bill Nye The Guy making those plane pacs was super fun.

@monklown One of the most creative PAC makers I have found. They had to nerf your insanity by denying most of them


Anyways time for me to go on vacation or something..
 
Best of luck with life Frenchie, I wish you all the best o7

Take care, legend o/

Edit:
"It’s tragic that a server with such a passionate community is basically being directed by whatever the people friends with the higher ups want.
When we asked for event server, we didn’t get it, Broda asks and now it’s a thing ? No offense against Broda himself but it’s so weird to me that you could have a group of people ask for one thing nothing gets done (Nu7 moment) but when 1 guy gets here suddenly it can happen, it’s possible, we can do it sure."

Cheesy pushed for it and I just argued for it, kinda got the wrong end of the stick with this one :(
 
Last edited:
Wow second mention, I'm honoured (your cheque will arrive shortly)

Would feel a bit unusual for me to say any o7's or take cares considering you told me you were resigning a while back, and we already chat regularly, but it's still sad to see you go, and I'll miss your events. Shame our glorious Nu-7 Commander never got his proper sendoff (Unless your gonna retcon them to be updated with your new self)
 
o7
You will be missed. One of the few people on CN who have consistently contributed positively to the community, and it's been great having you around. Best of luck to you.

I feel like a lot of the problems raised in regards to friend group are less out of malice or an attitude of "my friends get whatever they want", and more just from members of SL or whatever simply not paying attention by default, so things only actually happen when it affects them or people they talk to a lot. There's a lot of great people on staff and in SL, but CN does tend to suffer from attitudes along the line of "if it isn't actively annoying me, then it's fine and nothing needs to change".

On a less serious note, 🤤 engineering rework