- Jan 8, 2023
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Username: Dusk
Your in-game name: "Dusk"
Your SteamID: STEAM_0:0:51562722
Previous rank: Admin
Are you appealing a Staff resignation, demotion or blacklist: Demotion
Date of demotion: 06/28/2024
Have you received any kicks/warns/bans, and if so, why: X2 NLR
X2 RDM
The only punishments I've received on the server, and they were from 2022 or 2023 I can't remember, but I have no offences since then. I don't remember the causality of any of them at this point in time.
Who demoted you: Network Leadership
Why were you demoted: Cheating
Why should you return: I’ve altered my perspective on what I want from this community, and more importantly, from myself. At this point, I've revealed it all to everyone: good, bad, determined. If that isn't enough to demonstrate that I'm not hiding behind the levels of myself that only emerge when convenient, then I don't know what is.
I've had a lot of time to reflect. I've applied in the past and rescinded my applications, most times due to the fact that I wasn't ready to embrace the mentality that meaningful change requires. But now, with time and space to assess where I'm at and where I could bring value, I can say this is different. I didn't rashly decide this time nor with my emotions. This time, it's set and has weight because I am set with the right mindset without being wishy washy because an appeal stems from blind desire and ulterior motives. I'm a changed person who can say I'm ready to reap what I sow without allowing myself to bite the hand that feeds come inconvenient times.
It's okay if not everyone loves me after everything, either. I've come to terms with it. I've also come to terms with it not needing to be that way. I'm someone who's unique, who boasts a larger than life personality, but not by virtue of raising my voice in arguments or trying to cut people off. My confidence stems from my experience, from failing and succeeding and knowing when to take a step back. I'm not trying to convince anyone that I'm someone worthy of like; I'm ready to substantiate through action and example that I'm someone who's changed for the better and has so much to offer if just given the opportunity to show it.
Network leadership should at least acknowledge how I've consistently attempted to better the community, not for selfish gain, but for the gains of the players, the climate, and the overarching intentions by which we're all forced to reside together. I've made mistakes aplenty, but I’ve balanced that out with attempts and efforts of equal measure where I could. That's all I've ever desired, to contribute something meaningful that extends beyond my tenure.
Even if doing so means starting back from square one, I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm more than okay with that. I welcome such an experience. This is not a punishment; it's an opportunity to start afresh with restored intentions behind closed doors, empowered by experience to earn respect, trust, and responsibility once again through action rather than talk. Were I ever allowed back, even as a probationary moderator, I'd take an open-minded approach where every bit of time spent therein, good or bad, would contribute positively and accordingly to making this attempt worthwhile.
I'm not here to prove I'm perfect; I'm here to demonstrate I've learned. Change doesn't happen overnight, nor should it. With that being said, I don't expect instant gratification or forgiveness; however, what I'd hope is an opportunity, fair, to demonstrate who I've now become.
Your in-game name: "Dusk"
Your SteamID: STEAM_0:0:51562722
Previous rank: Admin
Are you appealing a Staff resignation, demotion or blacklist: Demotion
Date of demotion: 06/28/2024
Have you received any kicks/warns/bans, and if so, why: X2 NLR
X2 RDM
The only punishments I've received on the server, and they were from 2022 or 2023 I can't remember, but I have no offences since then. I don't remember the causality of any of them at this point in time.
Who demoted you: Network Leadership
Why were you demoted: Cheating
Why should you return: I’ve altered my perspective on what I want from this community, and more importantly, from myself. At this point, I've revealed it all to everyone: good, bad, determined. If that isn't enough to demonstrate that I'm not hiding behind the levels of myself that only emerge when convenient, then I don't know what is.
I've had a lot of time to reflect. I've applied in the past and rescinded my applications, most times due to the fact that I wasn't ready to embrace the mentality that meaningful change requires. But now, with time and space to assess where I'm at and where I could bring value, I can say this is different. I didn't rashly decide this time nor with my emotions. This time, it's set and has weight because I am set with the right mindset without being wishy washy because an appeal stems from blind desire and ulterior motives. I'm a changed person who can say I'm ready to reap what I sow without allowing myself to bite the hand that feeds come inconvenient times.
It's okay if not everyone loves me after everything, either. I've come to terms with it. I've also come to terms with it not needing to be that way. I'm someone who's unique, who boasts a larger than life personality, but not by virtue of raising my voice in arguments or trying to cut people off. My confidence stems from my experience, from failing and succeeding and knowing when to take a step back. I'm not trying to convince anyone that I'm someone worthy of like; I'm ready to substantiate through action and example that I'm someone who's changed for the better and has so much to offer if just given the opportunity to show it.
Network leadership should at least acknowledge how I've consistently attempted to better the community, not for selfish gain, but for the gains of the players, the climate, and the overarching intentions by which we're all forced to reside together. I've made mistakes aplenty, but I’ve balanced that out with attempts and efforts of equal measure where I could. That's all I've ever desired, to contribute something meaningful that extends beyond my tenure.
Even if doing so means starting back from square one, I'm okay with that. In fact, I'm more than okay with that. I welcome such an experience. This is not a punishment; it's an opportunity to start afresh with restored intentions behind closed doors, empowered by experience to earn respect, trust, and responsibility once again through action rather than talk. Were I ever allowed back, even as a probationary moderator, I'd take an open-minded approach where every bit of time spent therein, good or bad, would contribute positively and accordingly to making this attempt worthwhile.
I'm not here to prove I'm perfect; I'm here to demonstrate I've learned. Change doesn't happen overnight, nor should it. With that being said, I don't expect instant gratification or forgiveness; however, what I'd hope is an opportunity, fair, to demonstrate who I've now become.
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